Observation or Evaluation?
Select whether you think the statement at the top of each box is an observation free from evaluation or if it contains evaluations or judgments. When you click on your choice my response will be shown. Before trying this challenge I recommend reading about observations.
George was angry at me for no reason.
We are not in agreement. The speaker is guessing at George's emotion and is saying there is no reason for the emotion.
We are in agreement as the speaker is making claims about George's emotional state and his reason for the emotion.
Yesterday morning Brenda talked on her cell phone while driving to work.
We are in agreement. The speaker is saying what he/she saw and heard. Could be more specific by saying how the speaker became aware of the information. While riding in the car with Brenda I saw/heard....
We are not in agreement as the speaker is just saying what happened. Could be clearer about how the speaker obtained the information
Bill did not ask me what I wanted for lunch before ordering.
We are in agreement. There is no evaluation mixed in with the observation. Better wording could be, I do not remember Bill asking me what I wanted for lunch before he ordered. The observation is of a negative so it is a challenge to express clearly.
We are not in agreement. Although this is an observation of a negative there is no evaluation or judgment mixed in with it.
My mother is a good parent.
We are not in agreement. "Good parent" is an evaluation of what you think your mother's competence as a parent is.
We are in agreement. Good is an evaluation. Marshall has commented on how much pain the belief there is such a
thing as a
good parent has caused. For more on this see how to make yourself miserable
This statement is so loaded, I had fun finding pictures that demonstrated a
My favorite is the soccer mom picture. This picture demonstrates what is expected of a good mother, to sacrifice her needs
for everyone else. Although who am I to judge, maybe this mother truly enjoys being a
Stella needs a vacation.
We are not in agreement. Saying what Stella needs is an evaluation. We could have said "When Stella talked very fast and loudly saying she didn't like being interrupted ....
We are in agreement. Saying what Stella needs is an evaluation.
Al is belligerent.
Martha was here before class started the last 3 weeks.
Sometimes Albert doesn't comb his hair.
We are in agreement. This one is not an evaluation and it is not specific enough to fit the NVC model for an observation. More specific would be, Albert saw three clients this week with his hair sticking out in different directions.
We are not in agreement if you chose because of judgment or evaluation. We are in agreement if you think it is not specific enough.
Janet said I have beautiful eyes.
We are in agreement. The speaker has repeated what Janet said without adding an evaluation or judgment. What Janet said is a judgment but the speaker is saying what he heard.
We are not in agreement. The speaker is only saying what she heard without adding or mixing in an evaluation. What Janet said is judgmental but repeating it is an observation. This one is intentionally tricky to make a point.
Gary has a whiney voice.
We are not in agreement. I define the word
whiney as judgmental. It implies complaining.
We are in agreement. I define whiney as meaning complaining and that is an evaluation of his state of mind. This is a very challenging statement to turn into an observation that fits the NVC model.