Request Challenge

I don't like the cat on the couch!

 

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are not in agreement. The speaker is saying what he doesn't like instead of what behavior he wants of the listener. Could have said, Would you be willing to get an easy to remove and replace cover for the couch? In this case it may seem obvious to the speaker what he wants, the listener is not sure. This is an example of where making a conscious request is very helpful, instead of an implied request.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are in agreement as the speaker is saying what he doesn't like instead of what behavior he wants of the listener. Could have said, Would you be willing to get an easy to remove and replace cover for the couch? In this case it may seem obvious to the speaker what he wants, the listener is not sure. This is an example of where making a conscious request is very helpful, instead of an implied request.

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I would like you to focus on driving and not talk on your cell phone while driving?

     

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are in agreement as the speakers is expressing what she wants (focus) and using the negative (not using cell phone) for clarification after saying the positive.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  If you chose this we are not in agreement. The speaker is expressing what she wants (focus) and using the negative (not using cell phone) for clarification after saying the positive.

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I would like you to ask me before ordering lunch.

     

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are not in agreement. This could be more specific by saying, before ordering my lunch. This one is deliberately tricky as we don't want to say the request in a way that challenges the other person to find a way to say no. Do you mean I have to ask you for the rest of my life before I can order a lunch? Even for myself?

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are in agreement. This could be more specific by saying, before ordering my lunch. This one is deliberately tricky as we don't want to say the request in a way that challenges the other person to find a way to say no. Do you mean I have to ask you for the rest of my life before I can order a lunch? Even for myself?

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Would you be willing to buy me an ice cream cone with no strings attached?

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are in agreement. This is a doable request followed by a clarifying negative of what you don't want.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are not in agreement. This is a doable request followed by a clarifying negative of what you don't want.

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I want you to take care of yourself.

  

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are not in agreement. This statement is not specific enough. Saying, I would like you to take a week off and get some rest, would be a specific request.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are in agreement. This statement is not specific enough. Saying, I would like you to take a week off and get some rest, would be a specific request.

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Would you ask me if I want to be in a snowball fight before throwing a snowball at me?

 

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are in agreement. This is positively worded, doable and specific.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are not in agreement. This is positively worded, doable and specific.

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I would like you to get a good grade, please get your project in on time.

 

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are not in agreement. Attaching a reward/punishment (grade) to it makes it a demand.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are in agreement. Attaching a reward/punishment (grade) to it makes it a demand.

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Would you keep a neat appearance while teaching?

   

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are not in agreement. For me neat appearance is not specific enough. Could be I would like you to comb your hair before teaching.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are in agreement. For me neat appearance is not specific enough. Could be I would like you to comb your hair before teaching.

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Would you tell me what you heard me say?

  

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are in agreement. This is clarity or reflection request to check how well we have communicated.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are not in agreement. This is clarity or reflection request to check how well we have communicated.

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I would like you to pay attention.

• A request that is a clear, doable, concrete action statement

  We are not in agreement. This is not specific as to what the speaker wants the listener to pay attention to. Could be, I would like you to keep your eyes on the road while driving.

• This is a demand, vague, a wish or negatively expressed

  We are in agreement. This is not specific as to what the speaker wants the listener to pay attention to. Could be, I would like you to keep your eyes on the road while driving.

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