Background Story:
The phone rings and you see on caller ID it is a good friend so you pick up. You have the intention of being compassionate.

My dog that I have had for seventeen years died today. I don‘t know what I will do with myself. He was in pain, I probably should have put him to sleep a long time ago. jackal puppet

Show explanations

Emotional Scale Quick Reference
Positive 1. Joy 2. Passion 3. Enthusiasm
4. Belief 5. Optimism 6. Hopefulness 7. Contentment
8. Boredom 9. Pessimism 10. Frustration 11. Overwhelment
12. Disappointment 13. Doubt 14. Worry 15. Blame
16. Discouragement 17. Anger 18. Revenge 19. Hatred
20. Jealousy 21. Guilt 22. Depression Negative

Before After Statement Explanation
21 22 My daughter has kittens she is trying to find a home for. I can‘t think of anything more painful here than solutions without finding out what the person wants first.
21 22 When I was a kid my hamster died. This is demonstrating sympathy and bringing the focus to what‘s alive in you. The other person wants to be recognized as a human being with feelings and needs before focusing on you.
21 22 He‘s in a better place. This is not helpful, especially since the person expressed guilt over keeping him alive while he was suffering.
21 22 You need to cheer up. Being told what to do emotionally while in pain is painful to hear and usually undo-able for the person.
21 16 Are you sad and missing your dog‘s love? This might not work for everyone and this is a tough situation to sound genuine in. Maybe just listening would be the best.
21 17 Is there anything I can do to help? Although anger doesn‘t sound very good, it is an improvement from guilt. The hard thing to do here is if the anger is directed at you to not go to anger yourself and to stay connected to your needs and in empathy.

Additional comments:
This is a very difficult situation to be in an empathy mode. Almost anything you say could sound placating because of how people in the past have generally responded to someone in grief.

Author Emotion Relationship Topic
Jeff Guilt Friends Death of pet
Vincent Blame Friends teen boys Video Game
Jeff Anger Co-worker friend Work Conflict
Jeff Blame Spouse/Roommate Dirty Dishes
Vincent/Jeff Frustration Friends Bad Throw
Vincent Blame Friends Merry Go Round
Jeff Tretsven Contentment Empathy Buddies Empathy Pause
Jeff Tretsven Blame Coworkers Heated Meeting
Jeff Tretsven Discouraged Friend/Family Self Criticism
Jeff Tretsven Worry Heir Apparent? Inheritance
Jeff Tretsven Discouraged NVC Peer Hearing No!
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