Background Story:
Someone close to you who is near the end of their life and you are guessing they will leave you a life changing amount of money.
I don't want to talk about where my money is going in my will.
Emotional Scale Quick Reference | |||
---|---|---|---|
Positive | 1. Joy | 2. Passion | 3. Enthusiasm |
4. Belief | 5. Optimism | 6. Hopefulness | 7. Contentment |
8. Boredom | 9. Pessimism | 10. Frustration | 11. Overwhelment |
12. Disappointment | 13. Doubt | 14. Worry | 15. Blame |
16. Discouragement | 17. Anger | 18. Revenge | 19. Hatred |
20. Jealousy | 21. Guilt | 22. Depression | Negative |
Before | After | Statement | Explanation |
---|---|---|---|
14 | 17 | I can't believe you would cut me out of your will! | Expressing your thoughts in a judgmental way will most likely not create connection. |
14 | 6 | Is it important to you to make your decisions based on your own values? | This is indirectly acknowledging freedom and integrity. Will most likely be very well received. |
14 | 16 | I'm disappointed. | Expressing an emotion without needs and a request usually stirs up anxiety in the other person. |
14 | 12 | Are you worried and wanting acceptance? | This is an excellent empathy guess, it may be too big a jump for the other person to take and if you continue the empathy he or she might acknowledge it a little later when the need for trust has been met. |
14 | 17 | I guess I'll just have to struggle the rest of my life. | This attempt at pity will probably stir up more anger than sympathy. |
14 | 18 | You're the one who has to deal with your karma. | Hinting that someone will be judged for their behavior is usually not connecting. |
Additional comments:
For most people this is a very emotionally charged topic and requires lots practice to deal with in an empathic manner.
Author | Emotion | Relationship | Topic |
---|---|---|---|
Jeff | Guilt | Friends | Death of pet |
Vincent | Blame | Friends teen boys | Video Game |
Jeff | Anger | Co-worker friend | Work Conflict |
Jeff | Blame | Spouse/Roommate | Dirty Dishes |
Vincent/Jeff | Frustration | Friends | Bad Throw |
Vincent | Blame | Friends | Merry Go Round |
Jeff Tretsven | Contentment | Empathy Buddies | Empathy Pause |
Jeff Tretsven | Blame | Coworkers | Heated Meeting |
Jeff Tretsven | Discouraged | Friend/Family | Self Criticism |
Jeff Tretsven | Worry | Heir Apparent? | Inheritance |
Jeff Tretsven | Discouraged | NVC Peer | Hearing No! |
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