Background Story:
You meet someone you love, who you think is good looking by most people's standards.

I Feel ugly today. I was dumped. jackal puppet

Show explanations

Emotional Scale Quick Reference
Positive 1. Joy 2. Passion 3. Enthusiasm
4. Belief 5. Optimism 6. Hopefulness 7. Contentment
8. Boredom 9. Pessimism 10. Frustration 11. Overwhelment
12. Disappointment 13. Doubt 14. Worry 15. Blame
16. Discouragement 17. Anger 18. Revenge 19. Hatred
20. Jealousy 21. Guilt 22. Depression Negative

Before After Statement Explanation
16 19 You're very attractive, you will find someone else. Contradicting and placating, not connecting.
16 12 Are you discouraged and wanting to be valued? Guessing a feeling and need will most likely move someone up the emotional scale. In this situation this is a huge improvement.
16 18 You deserve better. Although probably true, saying it may lead the person to feel even worse.
16 19 I never did like him/her. Someone in pain is expressing and instead of empathy you are stating your opinion, which is indirect advice.
16 18 There is an important lesson to be learned here. This is about the last thing someone in pain wants to hear. Hopefully the revenge will not be acted out on you. If it is there is a lesson for you.
16 11 I am hearing you had a rough day, would you like to talk about it? Offering to be there for someone is usually helpful.

Additional comments:
This is an especially hard situation to be empathic. When we care about someone we want to help. Marshall says when it is hardest to be empathic is probably when it is the most important.

Author Emotion Relationship Topic
Jeff Guilt Friends Death of pet
Vincent Blame Friends teen boys Video Game
Jeff Anger Co-worker friend Work Conflict
Jeff Blame Spouse/Roommate Dirty Dishes
Vincent/Jeff Frustration Friends Bad Throw
Vincent Blame Friends Merry Go Round
Jeff Tretsven Contentment Empathy Buddies Empathy Pause
Jeff Tretsven Blame Coworkers Heated Meeting
Jeff Tretsven Discouraged Friend/Family Self Criticism
Jeff Tretsven Worry Heir Apparent? Inheritance
Jeff Tretsven Discouraged NVC Peer Hearing No!
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