This content developed by Jeff Tretsven and is not part of John and Ike's curriculum.


ANNOYED, aggravated, dismayed, disgruntled, displeased, exasperated, frustrated, impatient, irritated, irked, ANGRY, enraged, furious, incensed, indignant, irate, livid, outraged, resentful

Wanting: respect, consideration, freedom, choice, independence, space, cooperation


AFRAID, apprehensive, dread, foreboding, frightened, mistrustful, panicked, petrified, scared, suspicious, terrified, wary, worried

Wanting: safety, security, stability, acceptance, order


AVERSION, animosity, appalled, contempt, disgusted, dislike, hate, horrified, hostile, repulsed

Wanting: space, beauty, integrity, ease, presence, acceptance, order


CONFUSED, ambivalent, baffled, bewildered, dazed, hesitant, lost, mystified, perplexed, puzzled, torn

Wanting: clarity, understanding, communication, to be understood, purpose, order, learning


DISCONNECTED, alienated, aloof, apathetic, bored, cold, detached, distant, distracted, indifferent, numb, removed, uninterested, withdrawn

Wanting: connection, community, companionship, belonging, empathy, understanding, participation, appreciation, stimulation, touch, closeness, trust, exercise


DISQUIET, agitated, alarmed, discombobulated, disconcerted, disturbed, perturbed, rattled, restless, shocked, startled, surprised, troubled, turbulent, turmoil, uncomfortable, uneasy, unnerved, unsettled, upset

Wanting: peace, ease, stability, comfort, harmony, clarity, understanding


EMBARRASSED, ashamed, chagrined, flustered, guilty, mortified, self-conscious

Wanting: acceptance, respect, appreciation, compassion, empathy, safety, support, trust


FATIGUE, beat, burnt out, depleted, exhausted, lethargic, listless, sleepy, tired, weary, worn out

Wanting: rest, space, ease, support, nurturing, independence, exercise


PAIN, agony, anguished, bereaved, devastated, grief, heartbroken, hurt, lonely, miserable, regretful, remorseful

Wanting: comfort, ease, companionship, connection, space, mourning, joy, warmth


SAD, depressed, dejected, despair, despondent, disappointed, discouraged, disheartened, forlorn, gloomy, heavy hearted, hopeless, melancholy, unhappy, wretched

Wanting: joy, play, connection, empathy, hope, inspiration, celebration of life, purpose, to matter, participation, contribution, warmth, love, intimacy


Special note: Sadness can be an indicator of when a person has reached awareness of a core need. The need that is expressed from sadness is often a very important (may be the core issue) need. When doing self empathy exercises, pay attention to sadness and watch what comes next.


TENSE, anxious, cranky, distressed, distraught, edgy, fidgety, frazzled, irritable, jittery, nervous, overwhelmed, restless, stressed out

Wanting: rest, ease, safety, stability, trust


VULNERABLE, fragile, guarded, helpless, insecure, leery, reserved, sensitive, shaky

Wanting: safety, trust, support, empathy, acceptance, mutuality, nurturing, love, honesty, presence, appreciation, compassion


YEARNING, envious, jealous, longing, nostalgic, pining, wistful

Wanting: equality, hope, inclusion, joy, trust, appreciation