Background Story:
You are practicing your best Nonviolent Communication skills. Your request is, Would you tell me what you heard me say?

No. jackal puppet

Show explanations

Emotional Scale Quick Reference
Positive 1. Joy 2. Passion 3. Enthusiasm
4. Belief 5. Optimism 6. Hopefulness 7. Contentment
8. Boredom 9. Pessimism 10. Frustration 11. Overwhelment
12. Disappointment 13. Doubt 14. Worry 15. Blame
16. Discouragement 17. Anger 18. Revenge 19. Hatred
20. Jealousy 21. Guilt 22. Depression Negative

Before After Statement Explanation
16 13 Do you have something you would like me to hear? Demonstrating a willingness to listen is usually soothing.
16 11 Is what I shared painful to hear? Acknowledging that you are the stimulus for someone's pain is a good start for healing. Be aware, you are never the cause only the stimulus.
16 12 Would you tell me what need of yours would not be met by honoring my request? This is the classic NVC response to a no. Demonstrates care for the other person.
16 17 Is there something I could do so you would say yes? This is tricky territory and can easily be interpreted as manipulation. Your concern seems to be more about your request than what is alive in the other.
16 19 Don't expect any favors from me! Threats rarely lead to connection. If they do it, it will be with resentment and you will eventually pay for it.
16 18 When I hear no, I am frustrated and would like cooperation. Would you please honor my request? Although this fits the NVC model for honesty it is not showing concern for the other. The word please does not turn a demand into a request.

Additional comments:
Hearing a no after being vulnerable can be quite a challenge to stay connected enough to our needs to respond with empathy.

Author Emotion Relationship Topic
Jeff Guilt Friends Death of pet
Vincent Blame Friends teen boys Video Game
Jeff Anger Co-worker friend Work Conflict
Jeff Blame Spouse/Roommate Dirty Dishes
Vincent/Jeff Frustration Friends Bad Throw
Vincent Blame Friends Merry Go Round
Jeff Tretsven Contentment Empathy Buddies Empathy Pause
Jeff Tretsven Blame Coworkers Heated Meeting
Jeff Tretsven Discouraged Friend/Family Self Criticism
Jeff Tretsven Worry Heir Apparent? Inheritance
Jeff Tretsven Discouraged NVC Peer Hearing No!
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